mar.22.2026

11:09am

it's finally spring now.

I'll say it's quite literally a blossoming season for both nature and emotion. everyone seems happier and the weather feels ideal. I kid you not, the wind and ice during the winter was my biggest pet peeve during that season.

I'm currently just trying to get a good balance of going out and being hyped with the people I'm with while also just staying at home and relaxing without a care in the world.

this weekend, I was at a theater festival for my school, stayed from 8am until 4pm. after I got home, I went on a walk, took a nap at 5pm, and woke up at like, 8am. it was a much needed nap, I only had 5 hours of sleep to get ready for the festival.

there was also a bit of a shift in my fashion. I started finding more fashion pictures on pinterest and kinda influenced how I dress now. I would tell some friends about it and I'm starting to feel like they're annoyed that I'm always bringing it up because they already went through the same thing.

to be honest, my brother also used to go through the same thing, from flannels to layering, so in a way I got my fashion sense from my brother as well.

- gabe.

mar.17.2026

8:50pm

watching the oscars 2 days ago made me so inspired.

not from the specific individuals that won, but just from the fact that everyone had put effort into making something so powerful, even if some films that I liked got snubbed.

conan was also a great host as always, reminded me how much I genuinely admired him and his work and I consider him as my hero when it comes to creativity and just generally coming up. makes me want to get into writing again. I've been journaling for so long that I might as well have to come up with new material based on stories and thoughts I had for the past 3 years.

to be honest, I had a pretty good weekend. I watched a lot of tv with my family, mainly with SNL and the Oscars.

other than that, I felt a little bit free. I don't know what for, but it's a very euphoric feeling. I didn't really need to get out of my house to solve it, I just need a little time for myself, and it felt nice to just let it happen.

I think that's probably what's holding me back. being self-consisous.

once I just kinda let go of that feeling for a bit, it just felt like I can tune everything out and just focus on living peacefully instead of feeling judged for not living out and about. since then, ragebait doesn't work on me, I don't feel bad for people getting irritated at me, everything is moving at a reasonable pace. it's probably just a mood swing, but life feels pretty good right now.

another thing is that I've been listening to a lot more pop-punk artists, feels like summer is coming early for me.

- gabe.

mar.7.2026

12:42am

for a short while, I've just been so distant from myself.

in the root of it, I've been so focused on my hobbies that I kinda ran them into the ground and it's leading into a burnout. this is like, one of the first times where burnout has genuinely affected my life in a major scale. I've always associated burnout with like, too many ideas with barely any excecution; but now it's more of very little ideas, no execution, and just no sense of self.

I feel like I'm about to be known for the work I do, but the work I do is just not me anymore.

and the more I think about it, the more I see how empty it feels seeing my past works. I have the passion, but not the meaning.

and even then, I have too many hobbies that I've done just from the past 4 years alone. I always thought it was more like, following the fun, but now I figured it's just because I ran each one into the ground until it felt like a chore to do so. I'm so behind on journaling and I tend to do about one page a day about something from 6 months ago. I have edits that I could finish in a couple of hours, but I only do them during bursts of energy so I finish about one every other month. I already missed the deadline for the next zine, and I'm never going back to music.

I keep juggling these priorities, and honestly it doesn't even feel like hobbies, they just feel like work, and I don't want to do a lot anymore.

I guess that's another reason why I was so happy whenever I just hang around outside. I don't really worry about what I have to finish when I'm out and about, and all the pressure goes away pretty easily. sometimes gives me new ideas and such.

probably just gonna focus on journaling and maybe animating. journaling has been the most fun I've had doing, especially since I have a new pocket journal to bring up recent events and thoughts I had and I just started adding drawings about certain times where it felt impactful to me.

I've always been saying this, but I really do have a good feeling about march. something about it just feels like a blooming season, and I don't mean that because it's spring.

- gabe.

mar.2.2026

5:03pm

I can see why people say never tell anyone your plans.

sure, you can say what happened, but not really what you're gonna do. it's like whenever I try to tell others about plans, I just get a gut feeling asking myself why did I do that. because now it'll seem like once I do fail, they could always bring it up and how I still haven't lived up to my goals, and that makes me extremely doubtful just from the thought of that happening.

however, I can't just like, give up from it because I already made up the goal. I think every month that has been shitty is only because I just think it's going to be shitty. I just want to get in the mindset that if it's going to be a great month so that way I can actually live through that.

basically, no matter what it gonna hold me back this month, I'm gonna try my hardest not to isolate myself from it, because I was genuinely out and about the past week and I felt so refreshed doing so.

- gabe.