may was probably the best month of the year so far, it felt like almost everything was going my way. june could've been a continuation from that point, but job hunting and tuition bills have been stressing me out.
this is all the colors I associated with each month this year so far.
I love associating my months with colors, helps to show what mood I was in during that time, and it even helps with the collages of photos I make with each month.
I even tried doing one throughout the past 6 years, and the results aren't really that interesting.
I'd say by 2024, I started going out more and 2025 was my most outgoing year overall, but this year has been an entire refresh in lifestyle. and that started to make me curious of what were the colors of each month last year and I started to notice a pattern.
okay I used a different website to make this palette because the other one holds up to 10 colors, but I noticed that the first half is always muted and bland, but it gets more vibrant after june. probably because it's winter in the first half and usually I tend to stay inside getting bored and irritated. 2026 is probably the most vibrant year since I started getting less irritated in march instead of june.
on average, I tend to see july as like, a dark red, but I don't really know how I'm gonna feel about next month. and to be honest, I don't even want to think about it anymore because I'm finally okay with how I'm gonna go through each month instead of worrying if it gets worse than the last.
- gabe.
jun.25.2026
8:09pm
the job market so bad, they told me they wasn't hiring when I went into my job interview. genuinely a waste of my god damn time going there, fuck wendy's.
I was almost dissapointed for the whole day until my friends took me out to see scary movie after. that movie was so unbelievably garbage, but I just couldn't stop watching it because it's that good to see, so it's like a 7/10.
late at night, I also started working on my summer vlog.
honestly, it's coming along pretty well. just need to review all of the footage again to make this compliation.
- gabe.
jun.24.2026
1:20am
lowkey kinda nervous because my interview is today.
I need to go to sleep soon so I can get ready for it. first time sleeping before 2am in a while.
on one hand, I don't really need to worry because I can get another job/interview elsewhere, but on the other hand, I need to get a job for my future expenses in the coming months.
I don't really know what to expect in an interview because it's mainly about introducing, or basically selling yourself to them, and I'm not really the type of person to introduce myself, you just kinda have to talk to me in order to know who I am. you can get a somewhat full understanding of who I am based on my first impressions, but I would consider myself scattered personality-wise.
- gabe.
jun.21.2026
12:08pm
started working out in the gym with some of my family members. I used to do at home in my room, but the only problem is that I have no consistency. as of now, it's only like a once a week thing at around 11pm, but it'll most likely be intense.
I didn't really feel sore from the first workout until 2 days later. my shoulders and legs felt pretty tight when I was going on a morning walk. judging from how I'm feeling now, the 2nd workout is gonna' start hitting hard. that's what my brother always said.
- gabe.
jun.19.2026
1:07am
one of my friends is planning on making another game tournament at his house, but he wants it to be bigger and better.
so back in december, my friend made a small gaming tournament with a few friends. played a few fighting games and such with a surprise final game, being wii sports. I honestly wasn't playing much because I was talking to someone at the time, reached a flow state in that conversation.
after his grad party, he realized how many people he could invite to his next tournament. he invited about 30 people for his grad party, so his tournament will most likely be 50 or so people; compared to like, 8 people he invited for his first tournament.
I was on the phone with him about it the other day and he told me how many ideas he has planned. he wanted to pull up in a suit, have a halftime show, get assistants, fully record the whole thing, and maybe even make it a cookout as well. I can see his vision, and I wanted to help. I lowkey want to be an assistant because I don't really play video games as much as I used to, so I might as well help out instead.
- gabe.
jun.18.2026
2:58pm
oh my god, this is probably the most complete site I've done.
usually, it would take me weeks to finish an entire site because of how tedious it is to color code the whole thing; nowadays, it just takes me a couple of hours.
some pages on the site are still unfinished because I need to recap a lot of the stuff I have said (especially in the media log), but they still have content unlike my older layouts and such.
I have plans to remodel certain showcase pages and even the journal. I want the journal to look more like a calendar, and my showcase pages as the same layout with the site itself.
this would take me a couple of days and now I will finally have something I wanted to get for the past 5 years... a completed website.
- gabe.
jun.17.2026
4:06pm
sometimes I think opposites don't attract. or at least, not fully.
the way I see it, opposites only attract if they completely complement each other. a person who likes yellow works with a person who likes purple. a person who likes comedy and a person who likes horror are perfect because they both want a reaction. they could have different taste in music as long as they have the need to be experimental (or if they both like experimental music).
if they're completely opposite without the complement, then it just wouldn't work, point blank; and I didn't even mention values. you can like a completely different person as long as they have the same morals and values. you could argue this isn't even opposites anymore, but this is just from my perspective for how that meaning works because some people get the wrong idea and it doesn't work out in the long run.
another thing that determines if the relationship would last is how far ahead they plan stuff. the farther they plan, the shorter is lasts. every relationship I've seen that didn't last long always plans hangouts and their future months ahead of time, and they always break up once it happens. it even happened to me too.
I used to talk to this girl last march and she invited me to go to the zoo in may. I had to cut her off the week we were able to go.
- gabe.
jun.17.2026
2:10am
I change the website again. this literally took me like, 3 days to make this home page.
it's obviously not finished yet, but at least you get like, the blog and the journal so far.
- gabe.
jun.16.2026
11:35pm
I feel like since I'm 18, I should feel like I could be able to do a lot of things without the guilt of not having the ability to because I was a teenager.
like, I can finally go on pornhub and not lie about being 18. I could swear in front of my family members without having to think about repercussions and that I'm too young. it's like I have the ability to, but I guess it hasn't really hit me yet, then again I just turned 18 three days ago.
legally I can do anything, but at the same time I don't really feel like doing a lot of things I jokingly said I would do; whether it'd be masturbating on pornhub, smoking weed, or even just swearing. I guess it's just not fun anymore when I have the ability to since you get to have the sense of doing it as a teenager because you were told you weren't to.
from this perspective by itself, I can see why being an adult kinda sucks. sure, you can do the things without repercussions, but it wouldn't feel fun because you have the free will. maybe I'm just looking at this half-empty, I'm glad I can do all of this, but I can also see why it wouldn't be as fun since there's no risk.
- gabe.
jun.15.2026
9:33pm
looking at old blog websites from the 2000s makes me want to redesign my website again...
I'm sorry guys, I know I literally just changed this shit like, 8 months ago, but the thing is that I can't keep one design, and you can tell based on my archive.
- gabe.
jun.14.2026
12:49am
the knicks won the nba finals on my birthday. greatest gift I got for turning 18.
2026 is looking like the year of dreams being made back to back. original indie-made films are booming in the box office, music has been hitting harder (especially with michael jackson making a comeback in the charts), gaming has been getting some good releases and great leadership (I've never seen xbox make such moves when the new ceo came), and everyone is just genuinely happy.
honestly, this is probably one of the best times to be alive. sure, there's still some bullshit happening around the world, but there's always great things happening for yourself, your community, and your peers. this is literally the perfect time to act on it. go outside, make bold decisions, go vote, start protesting, organize, celebrate; this is a golden year.
I have made some bold moves this year and that has led me with some good return of investments. I'm going to new york for college, I've made stronger relationships, I've been working on a variety of projects lately. speaking of which, I lowkey didn't finish yellowjournal at all, I missed the deadline. I was gonna work on it on my birthday, but I was out the whole day. I don't regret it at all, might delay the release soon.
- gabe.
jun.11.2026
11:34pm
was gonna go to a couple abandoned buildings around the state, with six flags being the main one. however, we almost got caught, but I went to an abandoned school beforehand.
the footage was lowkey trash because it was dark for a majority of the time there. me and my friends are lowkey stupid for not bringing any flashlights. we also didn't really plan this through since there was hella security in the six flags. don't know if I wanna go back.
- gabe.
jun.8.2026
12:00pm
been using my camcorder a lot more recently. brought it to a couple functions and such, and I want to record more so I can make a summer vlog. want to focus more on casual, conversational footage; plus with the editing style I have, I know I'm gonna have some fun with it. however, I wanna go back to my old style for editing vlogs because it seems I can only edit absurdly and I can't seem to go back to that.
- gabe.
jun.5.2026
11:33pm
oh my god I should stop spending. I spent everything I bought with quarters and dimes for 2 cd's and a sweater. really good deals, but damn that's literally my fucking coins that I've been saving for months.
was it worth it? lowkey yeah. I got a college dropout cd and a yellow nike sweater from goodwill. now for the college dropout, I don't really listen to this specific album as much. I'm more of a late registration/yeezus listener. however, after relistening to the college dropout, there were a lot of songs that made me grateful for this 8 dollar purchase. while browsing through the cd's at the barnes & noble, I also had options to get graduation and twisted fantasy, but they weren't really good picks for me. mainly because I don't listen to twisted fantasy as much, and both cd's were in digipack cases and not jewel cases (it's just a preference).
the other cd I mentioned was enter the wu-tang (36 chambers) by wu-tang clan. now if you put a gun to the back of my head and told me to name more than 2 songs on that album, you might as well pull the trigger because this cd is actually not for me. I bought as a gift for a friend of mine as a graduation gift.
when we first met around 2 years ago, one of the first albums he used to mention to me a lot was from wu-tang. he went on about how his dad tries to not show him rapcmusic, but then again his dad used to listen to albums like 36 chambers when he was a teenager. it was either that or frank sinatra, but I couldn't find a good sinatra cd since he already found his favorite one and there wasn't any from the barnes & noble. speaking of which, with the amount of times I've visited their bookstore for the cd's, I signed up for a rewards account. who knows, I might have to visit more often.
I'm lowkey happy how much my collection has been growing. I've done some calculations, and I've spent about 85 dollars for all 12 CD's. I have a discogs account to also log my collection and it's giving me results that are just a same difference.
- gabe.
jun.4.2026
8:53pm
spent most of my day out, going from building to building asking if they're hiring. it's even worse when they keep telling me to apply online when I already did.
- gabe.
jun.3.2026
12:05am
that new backrooms movie is... definitely a movie.
like it wasn't bad or anything, but it's just just.
then I watched society of the snow and yeah that made my day better. that movie was depressing as fuck. so yesterday pretty much had some good and... yeah.
today, I went on a long ass walk, came back home, and applied for a lot of jobs. for some reason I feel like it'll never work out because I'm still 17 at the moment and my resume is lowkey ass because I barely have any experience. my family suggested lying at this point.
for my own personal work, I don't think I'll ever have the time to do anything, but at the same time I currently have all of the time in the world and I just choose going out. after taking a walk, I've only thought about finishing a new issue for yellowjournal. I have not started at all and I was supposed to release it by the time I graduated (may 18th).
hopefully, things will work out by the end of this month. this is my month after all.
- gabe.
jun.1.2026
10:03am
it's my birthday month !
had to start my month right by taking a walk around 7am. about an hour and a half in I had to take a shit because I ate a lot of raw meat from last night's party. however I was like, 30 minutes away from my home, but I pushed through surprisingly.
as of right now, I'm gonna go out around noon to watch that new backrooms movie because I wanna get 20% off my ticket. my broke ass is not paying 14 dollars for a movie that I keep hearing is "the movie of all time this year".
