it's been pretty boring these past couple of days, but it's alright.
haven't been going out as much, stayed home and completed some tasks that I shouldn't have put off.
I also started working on another cartoon for the first time in months! only had a storyboard for this and I promise it looks better in my head. I tried to reinstall cs6, but that bitch isn't working so I switched to cs5.5. didn't feel much of a difference yet. I tried to do this in 18fps, but I regret it horribly, currently just rearranging keyframes by hand when I switched back.
the only thing I'm kinda looking forward to this whole week is just me going on a hike with some friends in a couple of days. other than that, I figured since this is kind of a chud week, I might as well start working on anything creative before I stop becoming a homebody again.
- gabe.
jul.18.2026
11:46pm
I know the month didn't even end yet, but I already have a color for this month.
it's not as dark as february because there's better things coming up, but it's been a couple of dips these past couple of days. so far, this month is looking like a 6/10, which is the first time my rating for a month dipped below a 7 in like, 4 months. for past reference, these are my past month rankings:
jan 2026: 4/10
feb 2026: 3/10 (7/10 for the final week)
mar 2026: 7/10
apr 2026: 7/10
may 2026: 8/10
jun 2026: 7/10
I also started to collect fortune cookie papers every time I go out to eat Panda Express. I've been doing for a while, but now enough to show I have a lot because I barely go to Panda Express. these are the ones I have so far.
they seem kinda basic from the outside looking in, but yes, I somewhat believe these do become true, and I find it surprising when I started writing the dates.
okay, it's still not surprising for y'all, but it is to me.
- gabe.
jul.16.2026
8:50pm
my loan just got approved and I'm kinda sad.
earlier this month, I was mainly bummed that I didn't get the loan, but after a while I was starting to be content with it.
now I don't normally put out my love life online, but I asked someone out and we've been together for about a bit. although we've only been official for so little, we've been hanging out for months now, and the main reason why we didn't start dating sooner was because I was going to new york after the summer and we were afraid of doing long-distance for majority of the academic year.
she's been extremely supportive about me going and wouldn't want to convince me to stay because she wants me to achieve my dreams, but the main reason I was becoming okay with staying in-state for community college was because I wanted to be with her for at least a couple more years before I transfer to new york.
and the crazier part is that I also got notified that I got housing the same day as well, so I don't have to worry about that either.
I guess the best part of love is the heartache, because it wouldn't be love if I didn't miss them.
- gabe.
jul.13.2026
1:55pm
every single student loan that I've applied for has been denied.
it's lowkey completely cooked for me, I don't think anyone is a good co-signer because of their credit. at this point, I might not go to new york and just stick to community college for my freshman year.
I'm not entirely dissapointed, I kinda knew this was gonna happen from the get-go and I can't dwell on it for long. I could ask a few other family members, but it's highly unlikely they could help.
for some reason, I would try extremely hard to keep the dream of being in the city as soon as possible, by any means possible. but now I realized that it's quite literally impossible right now unless some crazy ass miracle happens out of the blue this month.
- gabe.
jul.7.2026
12:46am
I started getting into post-hardcore rock lately and honestly, it's weird seeing how far I've come with my music taste.
just last year, I mainly listened to RnB, even earlier this year. it does kinda feel like I'm going full circle in my taste because I used to listen to pop-punk... but that's pop-punk.
this could be another era in my taste in music where one genre is gonna be what represents this part of my life. RnB was from late 2024 to 2025, experimental was 2024, hip-hop was 2023, and everything else before then shouldn't be talked about.
would be nice to discover more rock music, I already talked about this before on the yellowjournal. it's just that right now it's becoming more noticable as I start to dig deeper.
- gabe.
jul.3.2026
5:14pm
oh my god, I didn't realize there's methods to get some cheap tickets to new york city.
normally, it would cost like, $150 on average, but sites like wanderu lowkey showing me some good deals at about 40 to 60 dollars. might need to look deeper into this because there might be a catch.
I'm mainly checking them right now because I have to go to orientation on the 30th. unfortunely, I might have to be there for like, a day probably because I don't know how I'm gonna get a hotel to stay for the night. it's kinda lame, but it's something I gotta figure out soon.
now for housing, they just told me I have until the 5th to find a roommate and a suite, which is insane because they haven't given me the forms to do so and I just found out I was using the wrong site to apply. I am the upmost pissed, but at least I have a tiny bit of time to do it.
UPDATE! - 6:43pm
I still couldn't find the application to guarrantee housing and I missed the deadline 2 days ago. I'm genuinely stressed out and I don't know what to do yet. I tried to contact them, but they won't open until the 5th. this is pissing me off so much, these housing forms are so confusing, especially since I can only apply for the summer housing right now.
- gabe.
jul.1.2026
11:13am
at this point, my family has made the bold choice to apply for student loans for me.
we are usually extremely avoidant when it comes to loans due to our past credit history, but at this point it's starting to feel like a last resort since we can't really pay 2 grand a month.
been trying to find some good rates and whatnot and they always encouraged me to get a cosign. my family doesn't want me to, but sites like collegeave really insist on me getting one. it does feel like a trap since if I did, they'll most likely take away the loan from me because of my family's credit scores.
I don't know why college is so expensive these days. it doesn't even matter that I'm going to new york because it still would've cost the exact same if I went in-state regardless. education shouldn't be this rare to obtain and current politics see it as useless information and it makes sense why they don't like people getting a higher education because it's easier to persuade others when they can't have basic critical thinking.
it's so ridiculous man, I just want to be like a writer or something.
