jan.11.2026

3:06pm

Been trying to get my priorities straight.

I finished my css profile on wednesday, tried studying for mock trial during a game on thursday, and over the weekend I had to practice for an audition for the school's musical. I haven't had time to do any hobbies since I'm busy with my extracirriculars, but I haven't had time to focus on certain ones since I'm busy with thinking about doing my hobbies, and that kinda leads me to feel like I've been doing nothing in my life.

I wanted to start editing again, but I have to focus on catching up on journaling, but I can't because I have to practice for my audition, but I haven't had the time because I was too busy studying for mock trial, but I barely started studying these past few days because I was so focused on getting community service for NHS, but I'm struggling to turn it in because I'm busy with something else, and it just cycles and it just leaves me feeling drained and burnt out.

It's been a long while since I had time to focus on one thing, or at least where I never felt too busy mentally.

- gabe.

jan.6.2026

8:49pm

I'm genuinely fried and tired. since I started school this week, I've been on a major jet lag. I obviously stayed up pretty late over winter break, but it feels terrible to wake up at 6:30am again. It's gotten to the point where I have to sleep around 9pm to at least get a managable time to wake up. and it doesn't help that I have to get back to studying on mock trial, drama club auditions, and pre-calc tests this whole month.

over the break, it was probably the first time in a while where I never had to stress over schoolwork or my grades. I have no missing assignments, and my grades are good enough to help me sleep at night. but immediately getting back to work hit like whiplash.

- gabe.

jan.3.2026

12:48am

my god, I feel like a shitty person. I've been carring unnessecary baggage, avoiding problems that are too easy to fix, and it's worse when someone offers you advice out loud and it just feels embarrasing to hear once I realized I've been the problem all along and it's something I've been well aware of but afraid to admit.

Being evasive has been a growing habit for a while now and I haven't been the type of person to really reach out to anyone but I never really complain once it started to affect me and no one tends to really mention it until it actually becomes a problem whenever someone gets irritated of me. My family has been well aware of this problem since I never text them back.

My main new year's resolution was to just be more active around the people I'm still with and ngl it just feels sad that I have to start this habit at my big age, but at least I'm willing to make a change.

- gabe.

jan.2.2026

12:50am

so one of my friends has this tradition where every year on the first day, the first 12 songs he listens to represents a theme for each month, and I decided to do that myself. these were my first 12 songs of 2026:

January - Chivalry Is Not Dead by Hiatus Kaiyote
February - Miracles by Jennifer Viban
March - I See You by Best Man
April - Satellites by Ravyn Lanae
May - TRUST! by JPEGMAFIA
June - NEMO! by JPEGMAFIA
July - HAZARD DUTY PAY! by JPEGMAFIA
August - BMT! by JPEGMAFIA
September - UNTITLED by JPEGMAFIA
October - FLAME EMOJI! by JPEGMAFIA
November - Heroes by David Bowie
December - BODYGUARD! by JPEGMAFIA

I feel like this year is gonna be focused on me being full of myself.

- gabe.

jan.1.2026

4:41am

have a new year. this year is either gonna make or break me because there is too much on the line here. got so much things to do and too much to prepare. I should probably go to bed tho.

- gabe.